is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
