Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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