I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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