i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
