I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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