FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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