Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Randomize
