Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
even my farts smell like vagina
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
