How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
