worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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