I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
