last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
