even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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