So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
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The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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