...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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