me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
