I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
