Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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