Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
