I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
