This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
