Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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