He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
