HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
