I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
