Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
