I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she told me i tasted like america
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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