He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
