I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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