So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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