i can't believe i had my finger in that
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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