Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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