Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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