the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
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I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
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We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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