i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
