on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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