She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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