Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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