At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
