so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
