I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
