Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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