im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
