i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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