Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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