I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
