Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Randomize
