You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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