Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
