I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
