i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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