we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
