shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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