Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
