I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
