Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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