HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
