found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
