I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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