She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
