Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize