Dual....:-)
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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