If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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