Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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