Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.